Gibbled in translation

“Hey Bob, what can I do for you?"

“Doc, I’m afraid I’m gibbled.”

This response got me thinking nostalgically about words and phrases from my youth and about how everything changes, including language. Those of us from a certain generation know that gibbled means you have done significant damage to a part of your body, much more than just being gimped. You aren’t being bogus or acting like a dweeb, dork, dufus, or goober. No, this is a real bummer; so much so that all you may be able to do is watch the boob tube and you aren’t able to blow this joint. Can you dig it? This is not bodacious or far out but a real drag. You wish you could, like, totally go back and undo the stupid thing you did for kicks. Now, since you can’t split, all you can do is take a chill pill and get grody to the max as you stop bathing and lie around feeling sorry for yourself. You want to gag yourself with a spoon when other people tell you about their insignificant injuries and you feel liking narcing them out to Revenue Canada for even complaining about something so trivial. No, you don’t want to give them some skin and instead find yourself telling them to sit on it. This is no longer tubular, radical, or out of sight. You have a real heavy problem. You wish you could be there or be square but all you can think about is what’s your damage, since you aren’t working. You gradually become more depressed and don’t even care anymore about where’s the beef. Soon you are a fugly jive turkey who can’t mellow out as everything is not copasetic. I mean, as if you could get psyched when you can’t do jack squat. Slowly your life unravels as you begin to resent the man and find yourself telling smokies to bite me. Your friends tell you to peace out and keep on truckin’, 4sho, but you have become a miserable hoser who, I kid you not, develops serious spaz issues while getting in everyone’s face. Dream on if you think that’s sick and that you can do anything to the max. Your life as you know it is bunk and you no longer get the skinny. You tell everyone to catch you on the flip side as you heal hoping that the force will be with you. So, for now, goodnight John Boy.
—DRR